What would’ve happened to me if I stuck with football? It’s a question I sometimes ask myself. Would I be on some college team right now? I doubt it. I played football when I was really little. But this thought made me realize. I’m always on the defense.
I never actually played a game of football, just practice. So, I was never really assigned a position, but had I stayed long enough I would’ve been a tackle of some sort. Why? Because I was good at tackling. I would’t’ve have been a quarterback or a receiver. That’s not where my strengths lied.
For the Y and then again at DuPont Hadley Middle School I played soccer. Both times I was put on defense? Why? That’s what I was good at. I can’t run for long, I’m not great at passing or shooting, but I could get the ball from the guy running toward our goalie.
In Baseball….well, in baseball I played in the outfield. I just suck at that sport all around. Which is weird because it’s my favorite and because I played it for seven years. But Baseball is different. every player plays both defense and offense. (I was better on the field than I was at bat though.)
Basketball. The only time I really play basketball is with friends at church or something. I’ve never played it formally. But I automatically put myself on defense. It’s the only way I can enjoy the game. I can’t shoot, but I can defend the basket. And it’s some of the most fun I’ve ever had. I actually hated the sport ‘til I started guarding people. Now, I wish I had played it sooner.
But this goes beyond sports. It actually shows through in my everyday life too. I will take up arms to defend a friend. If I think someone is in danger or hurting I will run to their side. There is a guy I know who acts kinda creepy around teenage girls, and every time I see him near some girl I’ll walk over and talk to him, or sometimes I’ll just stand there, because I know that while I’m distracting him, or while I’m there he can’t hurt them. I once considered being a lawyer or a judge. I plan on joining the US Military to defend our country. A good defense can render the best offense useless.
Sorry it was just something I noticed. I like to defend and protect. It seems like it was something I was born to do. So, until I’m proven otherwise it is something I will continue to do.
It’s been forever since I posted a real post on here. My posts the last couple of days have just been the 30 day tumblr challenge. So, I thought I’d post something of actual merit. Some more of my random thoughts from the day.
It’s weird before I wandered away from this thing I would always know what I was gonna post on here. I would have some thought through out the day that would spark, and I’d elaborate and post it. I haven’t had any interesting thoughts lately.
Until recently, when I started seeing some of the paths God has made, how something unfortunate becomes almost life saving. We have been absolutely broke this week. My mom and I were at Wal~Mart. We had 20 bucks. We bought some stuff that we needed for the next couple of days and had 9 bucks left. On the way home my mom said “Oh, we forgot milk.” I asked if I needed to turn around, and she said not to worry about it, so we went home. The Electric bill was due later this week. NES is horrible and wouldn’t work with us at all, my dad didn’t get paid ‘till after the lights would be turned off. They were making a huge fuss over 15 dollars. So we scrounged up the 15 bucks somehow. If my mother and I had turned around for milk we would’ve only had 14.
Realizing this I thanked God, then thought all the way back to the summer of 2006. I had just finished the 8th grade and was about to go to McGavock High School. I was excited. Then, July 10th at 10:10 PM my great-grandmother died. I think I’ve told y’all this before, but bare with me. My grandmother couldn’t take care of herself. We had to move to Mount Juliet. This zoned me for Mount Juliet High School. I was seriously upset at first. I got over it quickly. MJHS gave me a much better education, and this best friends I could ever want. Not only that, but at MJMS my sister met this kid named Laura. Laura dragged my sister to church one night. Mary Lue, my sister, dragged my family to the same church later. We became members. I got involved. I got close to God then I ever would’ve in Davidson County. I didn’t even go to church until then. This youth group was the first group of people to see me as a leader. Until then I thought I was supposed to take orders and follow people around my whole life. I’ve gotten really close to God these past couple of months. One of my closer, and very talented, friends from the youth band invited me to the Youth leader’s prayer meetings on Tuesday nights. I went once. It was great. I had never been able to spend that much time alone with God in prayer. I’ve been going to those meetings again recently. It’s amazing. It really is how much prayer helps.
If I had never moved to Mount Juliet I wouldn’t have gone to the River. I wouldn’t have met that Youth Group. I wouldn’t be as close to God as I am now. And I wouldn’t be preaching my first sermon the 25th of August. I’m not sure how public that is supposed to be yet, but there it is. It still amazes me how God can turn a tragedy like a death in to something amazing.
My entire family is getting closer to God. We’re finally starting to put Him first, and He is blessing us for it.
It’s a very bold, generic statement. Some of us are great christians, but we aren’t the ones people interact with. We aren’t the ones that get news. The Christians that cause problems are the popular ones. The “religious nut-jobs” are the ones who are setting the example for Christians in this world.
I was listening to the radio today. I listen to a Christian station called “Way FM.” The show was actually a repeat, but they were talking about Anne Rice, the author of the Vampire Chronicles. She had posted that she has quit being a Christian. It isn’t that she has stopped believing in God and following Christ, she just doesn’t like being associated with what Christians are becoming.
I kinda know where she is coming from. I’m not gonna “quit” being a Christian. I’d prefer to act, and change things. Christians are seen as oppressive, bigoted, Holier than Thou, and hypocritical. This is because the loud ones are. It’s because the ones that get the attention and the media are horrible. Westboro Baptist Church for example. Holding up signs that say “God Hates Fags.” NO HE DOESN’T!!! Stop making life hard for the rest of us. Christians are hated because of the hateful Christians.
The Junior Pastor at my church has started a Saturday night series about what it really means to be a Christian. I think this is a fantastic idea. We should all think about this. All of us Christians. Good or bad. We should stop, and think, what does it really mean to be a Christian? What am I really supposed to do? Would God be pleased with me doing this?
I know one thing for sure. Being a Christian isn’t about being a closed minded, holier than thou, judgmental, hateful, false prophet. It’s about caring for and loving your Neighbor like Jesus did. No matter who he is. We aren’t meant to judge, God’ll do that. We should be open minded. We are no more holy than anyone else, we’re all human, we all sin, we’re all evil. We use God too much as a weapon, using His name to get what we want. It’s one thing for God to actually speak to you and ask you to do something, it’s completely other thing to say that He spoke to you when He didn’t. That is taking his name in vain too.
I was saved at five and raised in a Christian house hold, so I’ve never had to look in at Christianity from the outside. But, putting myself in a Non-Christian’s shoes, I can see why it would be hard to accept this religion as truth. Sometimes I’m even ashamed with something horrible someone else is doing under the banner of Christianity. That’s not what it’s all about. We need to show people what being Christianity is about. We need to strive to be more like Jesus.
Like Gandhi said: “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ” Let’s try to become more like our Christ.
My friend, Katie, and I decided to take a popular rap song from the 80’s and translate into “Nerd Speech.” See if you can guess what rap it is. She did the opening, the chorus, verse two and four. I did verse 1 and 3.
I introduced myself to a young female. Her hair slightly curled. I arrived at her abode to set her free, I had to depart much before the previously planed time. These females are scantily clad and act much like harlots, their only request is pleasure from me. Or to spend a certain length of the day to boast a cadence. I stated that it is not that simplistic. -Repeat Chorus- In the Empire State, the commonality converse and attempt to compel us to boast cadences. They often pursue us, but we continue to stroll because we have no openings. In the metropolis it’s a shame because it is impossible for us to conceal ourselves. Stained panes of glass are meaningless; they are aware of who resides behind them. -Repeat Chorus- When I awake the commonality consume the majority of my day. I am not vocalizing with notes and harmonies, the telephonic device continues to chime, so a concoct a cadence. I’m not boasting, the commonality are annoying me by incessantly asking questions and conversing with me, because they believe me to be famous. They constantly rend my garb, I think they have exceeded the amount of leeway they have been given. A female who is called Carol walks closely behind Darryl every time that we preform. Then D shunned her, and gave her the liberty to leave. Now she follows Jay. I am not prevaricating, tears fall from the optic organs of females because I am on the television. They even cause issues for my impoverished paternal parent, because he is supportive of me. -Repeat Chorus- We do not happen to be hoodlums, we do not consume controlled substances, but you believe independently. They present us with cocaine and an abundancy of other narcotics, but we abandon connections with them completely. It commensurates with the previous scenario, but we refuse to abdicate our professions; You must continue (boast!) hysteria!, because this is where we must cease with our cadence boasting for this melody.The present articulation is my account, I envision it to be highly critical to boast (a cadence), that is correct (punctually), It’s Precarious is the salutation, now we proceed!
Chorus:
It’s precarious to boast a cadence, to boast a cadence, to boast a cadence, that is correct, punctually! It’s precarious!
“The American idea was thrown out with Social Security. We nailed the coffin shut with group rights. We don’t want individual responsibility. We want somebody to take care of us. If we had a dictator who did a better job than our present system, then as long as he pretended to respect Congress, we’d lick his hands like dogs.”
-Empire
I believe that Orson Scott Card hit the nail on the head when he wrote this. We Americans don’t want freedom. Freedom comes with consequences, and no one likes consequence. An Army Captain pointed this out to me once. He said “We have freedom, we want licences.” He’s right. He used my dad as an example saying that he could say whatever he wanted about my dad. If my father decided to deck him because of it is in no way an infringement on Captain Walsh’s rights to freedom of speech. He got to say what he wanted. We want licence so that when we exercise our freedom, there are no consequences.
Real freedom is equality of opportunity, not equality of outcome. The former we are losing. If you want something I believe you should have to work for it, you’ll appreciate it more. You should take responsibility for your actions. If you messed up, you messed up. Don’t try to chock the blame off on to someone else. Freedom requires that responsibility. We don’t like it. It means we might get in trouble. It means we might screw up. Taking responsibility may make us seem human, and that would be a catastrophe. No, let the government deal with all that. We can be robots. Robots are cool.
Well, I don’t want to be a robot. I’m glad God made me a human. I will choose to stand up and take responsibility for my actions. No matter what the consequences. I don’t want the government to have control over my life. The only one that control me is me. God gave me free will. I intend on using it.
For God did not give you a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
My darling one, you are young and lovely, but inexperienced, and though you think the world is at your feet, it can rise up and tread on you.
A not so wise man said a not so wise thing once. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” I disagree with this. We shouldn’t be afraid of fear, we should embrace it and use it. Not only that but this saying seems to malign those who are afraid of something. Fear can bring about great things. Let’s take Thomas Edison for example. It’s a little known fact, that is actually pretty widely known that Edison was afraid of the dark. Now, if he had not’ve had this fear would he still’ve tried to invent the light bulb? Probably not, he would’ve had no incentive to. No reason. He had a fear, but instead of hiding and cowering he took it face on. He thought, and found a way to overcome it, thus making life easier for us now.
The point is, don’t cower at your fear, embrace it. Don’t be ashamed everyone is afraid of something. Face your fears, they’ll cower at what you can do. Take that fear use it to change the world like Edison did. Eliminate it, and change the world at the same time.
There have been times when I want to get on here and write, but I can’t think of anything to write about. So I’d sit and think. Only recently did I decide to actually write about having nothing to write about. Well, that’s not true. I have plenty to write about I just have to get it organized in my head. It’s more like writing about not knowing what to write. I actually started a poem that way in 10th grade. I had to write a Sonnet and didn’t know how to start or what to write. It ended up like this:
I continue to stare at my paper
My thoughts overwhelm me, no words arise.
Should I write of her? The words would taper
My love for her. They would only tell lies.
What about the night sky and how it reminds
Me of her? How the stars twinkle like her eyes.
The moon, bright like her smile. The night maligns
Her beauty. The night sky also tells lies.
Can nothing correctly describe the way
I feel about her? No, not even I.
Such words do not exsist, and never will they.
She means everything to me. I would die
For her. Words now appear on my paper.
My thoughts are clear, and the words don’t taper.
Ignore the messed up syllables in one of the lines. The point is, if you just start writing something will happen. You will eventually come up with some finished product. You will also learn that poetry isn’t your strong suit, and to stick to prose.
So, if you don’t know what to write, but want to write, just start writing. Collect all those random thoughts you have during the day or in the shower. I’m not the only one that has random thoughts during the day and in the shower am I? I think a lot. Sometimes I create events that will never happen. Sometimes I reflect on an issue that’s bugging me. Sometimes I just sit there and do math in my head. Those random thoughts you have might be important someday. Write ‘em down. Organize them. Share them. You may create something new someday. You may change lives. Ideas are important. Without an idea nothing can happen.
I finally remembered a dream. It wasn’t about baseball. I was in this house. Like they pointed out in Inception, I have no clue how I got there. I was looking for some kind of box that would allow me to turn anything into anything else for 15 seconds. It was guarded by these two evil twins who turned themselves in to some weird creature that looked like it were from a Stephen King book, or worse, an H.P. Lovecraft story. I some how acquired this box I was looking for. Probably because they were only the weird thing for 15 seconds.
Next thing I know I’m out side the house. This time with my father and it’s at night. We’re about to look for something else, but I don’t know what. He goes in first. I follow shortly after and see the twins standing there to meet me. I run out because I remembered the first time we met. After a couple of minutes outside I realize that I have the box now so I head back in. An ambulance passes on the way back. I reenter the house and turn the twins into something harmless and keep going. Soon after I bump in to the evil butler who attacks me. My dad tells me to quickly turn the butler into something, so I turn him into a couch pillow. And we continue our search. I was woken up when I got lost trying to figure out a staircase designed by M.C. Escher.
It was a weird dream, I ‘m starting to wonder why the dreams that I remember deal with shapeshifting. I’mma have to look it up and see what it symbolizes. I also kinda wanna turn that dream in to a book. I’m just weird that way though.
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